Tiny Tower is ruining my relationship

That may be an exaggeration. Slightly.

It all started when my partner lost his job. At first, it was fine. Sure he had a lot more time on his hands but he was keeping busy with all the chores and errands that we’ve been putting off for months. With the lists complete and no interviews lined up, his spirits began to sag like old man-boobs that decorate the hot tubs at the community centre.

It was … uncomfortable.

There was a void that I couldn’t fill. Then, suddenly, his spirits lifted and he was happy again. Joyful even. He had found something to fill that void. To raise his dampened spirits and give him a reason to get out of bed in the morning. He had a purpose in life again. He had found Tiny Tower.

Don't let their cuteness fool you; they are evil

At first I was willing to look the other way. To keep our conversation going while his phone buzzed with notifications that a new bitizen had moved in. As a former Sims addict, I know how demanding and addicting taking care of your digital family can be. I understood.

A few days passed and my patience and understanding started to thin. He would stop mid-sentence to restock a store. He would squeal with delight like a 14-year-old meeting the Biebs when he was finally able to add on another floor. He would set alarms during the night to take care of them. It was a bit much. Even for me, the girl who once had to give her Zelda game to a friend for two months because she almost missed a midterm.

What makes a 20-something-year-old man squeal

Then, it happened.

During a very inopportune moment his phone buzzed with game notifications. I ignored it, assuming he would do the same, like any other man would do in that situation.

But he didn’t.

Without a word he reached over and tapped away joyfully at the screen. With his bitizens content for the moment, he returned his attention back to me eager to complete our, um, quest.

“You aren’t serious.”

Enter some rambly words of a man who just realized that he is in deep shit.

Now, whenever his phone comes alive with notifications we both tense. He shifts nervously in his seat, eyes twitching, hands shaking, unsure of who he should let down: his bitizens or me.

Kotaku was right, you can kiss your life goodbye with Tiny Tower.